Too much force is given, for me to relate with my old self.
Too much force is given for me to relate with my old self. That isn’t me now, because the desire to reconnect to all of my mind, and be internally synced with my physical, is what Im In to……….
Today I realized that I have patterns that are a big part of my subconscious. I prided my ego I guess with having such a Lackadaisical demeanor. I really just got turned off with having to feel the downward mental spiral of realizing shit you already know the answers to. You can still be this Woke or Awakened person. Seeing your mistakes is attractive because you no longer are allowing anything to have an affect on the path to your higher self. You become impervious to the self-drama.
I have a dress fitting soon and no wonder everyone was looking at me like who is this oblivious hippie, doesn’t she know she has tan lines and this eclectic looking necklace on (It was a Quan Yin choker from China) I mean I didn’t even have heels. I really had no clue what to expect or do I guess. I think I should actually pick up a Bridal book. I always research everything obsessively, when Im diving In to something. I just haven’t had the attraction to conform to anyone elses ideas. What does that say about me? No clue right now.
As a person who is in Idle mode a lot, I am aware my mind is in a different realm half the time and most likely thinking of about a few other thoughts at once. So I tend to procrastinate on my execution with everything. When I say It out loud, Im fleeing from responsibility. Thats why Im such a believer in being easy on yourself and accepting your mistakes truthfully with love. I get to see my own bullshit. Ive gotten so much better with executing my goals, I just want to break unhealthy patterns. To continue living in a space of self-care. Creating and experimenting to stay free with myself and anything within that capacity.
These last couple weeks Ive been a lot more present than usual. I can feel my rising.
One who asks a lot of questions